Tragedy in Santa Barbara underlines need for feminism

On the night of March 23, Elliot Rodger went on a rampage in Santa Barbara, CA that left six people dead and 13 others injured.

Rodger was driven by his belief that he deserved a life of “love, sex, friends, fun, acceptance and a sense of belonging.” Judging from his hate of women, you could also be led to believe that he was driven by the belief that being a man and being nice to women somehow gave him domain over who they were interested in and their bodies.

Unfortunately, Rodger is not the first man to kill for these reasons. Little more than a month ago, a high school student in Connecticut was stabbed because she turned down another student’s invitation to prom because she promised to go with her boyfriend. These are just the latest two to hit the headlines, but they are far from isolated events.

It is not uncommon for men to say that these are only a small segment of men, using the phrase “not all men are like that” whenever a woman brings up her fear of the Elliot Rodgers of the world. In the wake of these events, that phrase has been used a little too often for my liking. By saying “not all men are like that,” we are dismissing people’s fears and taking the focus of the conversation away from a very serious matter that should be discussed.

As a man, I cringe everytime I hear someone begins a sentence with not all men. It’s almost as cringe worthy as saying “nice guy finish last” or any of the variations of that phrase. Take a look around the internet at all the “nice guys” complaining about being “friendzoned.” Elliot Rodger believed he was a nice guy and called himself the ultimate gentleman. Rodger, like some other men, believe that being nice to women entitles them to something for their being nice.

Being a decent human being does not entitle you to anything, and it definitely doesn’t entitle a man to a woman’s body.

Elliot Rodger and other men who have gone as far as to kill because their advances were turned down are symptoms of a serious problem in this country. Women are living in fear and it’s unacceptable. However, we need to get to a point where we do not have to be shamed or shocked into discussing societal issues. It shouldn’t take an Elliot Rodger to bring up misogyny and violence against women.

Men are failing. All of them. Women should not be afraid to turn down a man’s approaches out of fear of being assault or worse. We should not be teaching women how not to get raped, we should be teaching men that no means no. Women should not be blamed for a man’s lack of self-control. This is only the tip of the iceberg of what women have to face, but it is all inexcusable.

Even campaigns against violence against women send the wrong message. It is a problem that it is felt that men need to connect a woman with a family member in order to be spurred into action to help her. Men should be spurred into action because another person is being harmed, harassed or threatened, not because you are thinking that could be someone’s daughter or sister.
We should be angry that any woman has to be afraid to walk down the street at night. We should be angry that shouting fire is more effective than shouting rape.

It’s disgusting that there are people who believed that Elliot Rodger’s murderous shooting spree could have been prevented by someone giving him what he was looking for. It is disgusting that the blame is not being placed where it belongs, on Rodger.

As a society, we have shown that we are a long way from achieving gender equality but it is time for us to accept that gender inequality is a problem that we all need to solve. No, not all men are like Elliot Rodger but too many are. Change is needed now.